


but cause he really knows me

by ourlovelybones



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Romance, SO MUCH FLUFF, Song Fluff, Very fluffy, holiday fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 22:12:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12921291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourlovelybones/pseuds/ourlovelybones
Summary: Even just wants to plan a perfect surprise for Isak, one where it doesn't go quite as planned and one where he thinks he might have gotten it just right.





	but cause he really knows me

**Author's Note:**

> warning: heavy italics + adverbs abuse and major fluff. happy birthday to me! i should be writing 3+ academic papers, but this is a lil bday gift for myself haha. treat yourself special because no one else will. hope you like this x 
> 
> ok DISCLAIMER i don't like taylor swift but this song is such an Evak song. is it not?! it is an Evak song. trust me ;)

_I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck, chain round my neck_

_Not because he owns me_

_But cause he really knows me_

_I recall late November, holding my breath_

_Slowly I said, “you don’t need to save me,_

_But would you run away with me?”_

I.

 

Even first sees it when he’s walking home from Kafebrenneriet as the first snow of winter begins to fall. It’s on display behind a glass window in a jewelry shop Mamma likes to go by sometimes when they're just out walking. It’s just a plain silver chain, but it glows under the special lights inside the store. It’s brighter than the gold chain it’s on display next to, but it’s not ostentatious or obnoxious.

It’s perfect, really. Perfect to wear around his neck without drawing too much attention to himself while walking down the streets of Oslo or anywhere.

Perfect enough to hold a tiny charm, like maybe the initial _i._

The same initial he once drew from the fog of his breath on the very window of the coffee shop where he worked, while staring into Isak’s wonderful, light green eyes.

It’s really perfect.

 

II.

 

_It’s perfect, really._

_He’s going to surprise Isak after his exam on Friday with the most special present ever. Sure he nearly maxes out his credit card trying to reserve the room, and maybe Mamma looks at him strangely when he explains how perfect his plan is and how excited Isak will be when he sees it, but there was nothing that could go wrong. Everything is amazing. Everything is perfect, perfect, perfect._

_He can barely wait until Friday comes around. The more he’s around Isak, the perfect boy that he is, the more he wants to tell him about his wonderful surprise. He can barely keep his distance after he’s gotten so comfortable next to Isak in bed and watching him sleep. Isak sleeps without a shirt on and it’s tantalizing to watch his chest rise and fall, rise and fall in rhythm with his soft breathing all night long._

_So he stays home on Thursday night because Isak needs to study and how much sweeter would his special surprise be if Isak aced his exam only hours before?_

_Everything is perfect, perfect, perfect._

III.

 

“You are _whipped_ , man!”

He’s not really sure why he tells Magnus, of all people.

In retrospect, Jonas would have been the better option. But Jonas is Isak’s best friend, so he tells Isak everything and Even wants this to be a surprise. A special surprise that would brighten his spirits on Christmas day when Even shows it to him. He could have told Mahdi, he supposed, but Magnus is the one who corners Even after school when Isak’s busy and follows him around. He had followed him around on Even’s walk home through the city, passing by the jewelry store with the silver chain glowing on display.

“Not _whipped_ ,” Even shakes his head, still staring at the chain. “I don’t want it as proof that he owns me, or anything. Just…just a little symbol of how much he gets me. In more ways than one.”

Magnus looks at him dubiously. “I still think you’re whipped.”

 _I think you’re an idiot,_ Isak would have snapped if he were with them. Isak would understand the initial on the chain around his neck. Isak understands the things that really matter.

“Call it what you want.” Even says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket to snap a photo. “You’ve been with Vilde for _almost_ as long as I’ve been together with Isak. You’ll get it sooner or later.”

 

IV.

 

_Isak is shy in public – but that’s quite alright. Nothing can ruin Even’s wonderful mood, nothing at all. They walk side by side, with their hands firmly in their pockets, to the Radisson Blu Plaza against the setting sun. Isak has so much to say now that he’s no longer nervous around Even anymore, he’s full of stories about his friends and about his classes, he even talks enthusiastically about his dear friend Sana._

_Even could tell him that he knows her. That he’s seen her face around before Nissen or that Kosegruppa meeting. But he’s in too good of a mood, he just lets Isak talk and share his stories._

_His heart beat races when they walk inside the hotel. Isak’s eyes brighten under the lights of the lobby, his face turning into an expression of awe as he takes in the settings around him._

_Everything is perfect, perfect, perfect._

 

V.

 

It’s easy to buy the chain and it fits loosely around his neck. It’s not as easy to buy the initial.

Should he order it online so he can customize it? What if Isak gets home earlier than him one day and checks the mail first and then sees it? Even if Isak never even thinks about checking the mail, unless he’s walking in with Even right beside him, there’s still the possibility his surprise could be ruined.

Much like opting to tell Magnus instead of Jonas about that special item in the jewelry store, Even takes his precautions carefully.

He looks in jewelry store after jewelry store for initial charms, inspecting each “I” there is. Should it be an initial on a heart charm? Should he have gone with the gold chain instead, since there are more gold charms than silver?

He chooses a simple, silver charm. A lowercase little “i” that fits perfectly on the chain. It doesn’t call attention to him, it’s not shiny and loud and ostentatious.

But it’s special, like Isak is. That’s really all that matters.

 

VI.

 

_“You know, in our wedding, we’ll only serve mini burgers.”_

_“At our wedding, really.”_

_“You don’t think we’ll get married? We’re so fucking getting married! Grand fucking wedding! And we’ll show up as… God and Julius Caesar. No, you know what? We’ll show up as… just completely naked. Completely naked, no clothes. From now on, we’ll do everything naked.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“And I’ll propose to you from a balcony. Just imagine me driving up in a white limo Tesla. I’ll be driving up and be yelling, “Princess Vivian!”_

_“Princess Vivian?”_

_“It would be completely genius if that was your answer! Because then the whole joke is that you would think it’s a Romeo and Juliet reference. But you don’t get it until you enter the balcony and you see me sitting naked with a tie. And that’s when you get the reference! And after I’ve climbed up the balcony, I’ll ask you ‘What happens after I’ve saved you?’ And then you answer… I’ll save you right back.”_

VII.

 

“Do you think Magnus might have been dropped on his head as a baby?”

Even looks up from his reclined position on their bed, as Isak walks in and throws his backpack to the ground. His coat, scarf, and gloves trail behind him on the floor and he flops down on the bed beside Even.

“What makes you say that?”

“Today at McDonald’s, he told me every single graphic detail of his “mind-blowing” sex with Vilde last night.” Isak lifts his head, his lip curled in disgust. “Every. Single. Detail.”

Even can’t help but chuckle, reaching over to smooth Isak’s curls back from his hairline. “How did that conversation even start?”

Isak properly situates himself onto the bed, curling up under Even’s arm. “Same way it always does. Jonas or Mahdi starts talking about one of their hook-ups and how many times they got the girl to come, then Magnus needs to remind everyone that he even has a sex life, blah blah. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”

Isak turns his head to face Even, tilting his chin up. Even obliges him with a kiss and cups the side of Isak’s face. He feels Isak’s mouth curve into a smile and it’s only a matter of seconds before one of them starts giggling like a child. _You are perfect, perfect, perfect._

“How was your day?” He asks when they finally pull apart.

Even shrugs, unaware of his fingers tapping the charm under his shirt. “Better now that you’re here.”

Isak rolls his eyes on principle but doesn’t get rid of the lovesick smile coating his face. “You’re so cheesy.”

“You’re so cute.”

“Ha ha. I’m starving.” Isak whines. He slides his hand across Even’s chest to lace their fingers together, when he frowns. “What’s this?”

He’s tapping the concealed necklace under Even’s shirt.

_There’s a little over three weeks until Christmas, Isak’s favorite holiday of the year. Is the sentiment more special when it’s planned out in advance, on a special day? When is the perfect time?_

“Just a little something.”

Isak raises his eyebrow, narrowing his eyes in that suspiciously curious way of his. “A little something?”

“Yeah.” Even says nonchalantly, innocently keeping his gaze.  

Isak keeps that suspiciously curious expression for a while, before sighing and rolling over onto his back. “I’m still starving. Feed me.”

“You’re such a brat.” Even whispers against his neck, kissing him once, twice, three times on his mouth before heaving his body over Isak’s and making his way to the kitchen.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

This time, this surprise would be perfect, perfect, perfect.

 

VIII.

 

_He needs to get more food. More food for Isak. Isak wants more food. Isak would smile and laugh and stop looking so sad if he got him more burgers. Burgers and fries and maybe a milkshake this time around._

_There’s no time to put on his clothes because he has to hurry. Isak is waiting for him to bring back more food. No – it’s a surprise! He’s going to surprise Isak with more food. This will be his second surprise of the night because he wants to make Isak happy._

_His feet are moving faster than his brain, his heart is beating faster than his lungs. He passes someone in the hall, he thinks. They look startled momentarily as he speeds past them. Isak, Isak, Isak._

_The elevator is taking too long. What if Isak’s already woken up again? The surprise won’t feel as special if he’s already awake. He has to hurry, hurry, hurry._

_His feet are moving fast to the beat of his thumping heart. There is so much color around him – how has he never noticed how bright these lights are in the lobby? Someone is calling out to him, but there’s no time to stop now. Hurry, hurry, hurry._

_Left is right, up is down, cold is hot. It is cold. Very cold. Oslo in early December is very, very cold. He did not think about this before he left, stark naked because his clothes were mixed in with Isak's all over the floor. But there's no time to stop now and turn back – blue is red, loud is quiet, light is darkness – he wants to surprise Isak. Isak, Isak, Isak. Mannen i mitt liv. Everything is perfect._

_The men in black uniforms are coming up to him. They want him to come with them. Blue is red, left is cold, down is quiet – wait, that’s not quite right. He has to get Isak more food. It’s a special surprise, he tries to explain, for his boyfriend. A special surprise for his boyfriend._

_His boyfriend is going to meet him, the men in black uniforms tell him. Don’t you want to be warm, they ask. Don’t you want your boyfriend to be warm when you meet him, they ask._

_Well, yes. Yes, of course. Even follows them._

_And when he wakes up this time around, Isak is gone. His bed is cold and his heart is so, so heavy. His brain is shattered in a million pieces all over the floor. The very act of breathing becomes difficult, after a while. The repetitive motions of his chest rising and falling, rising and falling are nothing compared to the sight of Isak sleeping next to him._

_“Please stop texting me.”_

_Isak is gone._

_Isak is gone._

_Everything is not perfect at all._

IX.

 

“Even, hurry up! We’re going to be late.”

They’re supposed to meet Isak’s mother at her home for dinner in a half an hour. Marianne wants to see Isak for this holiday because it’s their favorite and she baked gingerbread cookies for him and Even. She is doing much better than she was a year ago, when Isak explained everything to him. Why he said what he said.

Marianne is doing much better, even if she still has some dark days. Isak is her light during the holidays, although Even thinks he is always her light even if they both haven’t quite realized it.

Even’s standing in front of their bathroom mirror. The chain around his neck is out in the open for the first time and his heart is thumping violently against it. Maybe it’s too simple. Maybe it’s not simple enough.

Isak would get it, sure. He gets Even in ways that people like Magnus don’t. It’s not supposed to be a sign of ownership, the initial around his neck. It’s just symbolism, the kind of stuff he likes to analyze in his favorite films. Isak understands him, tries to understand how his mind works. That’s why the initial is right above his heart, the most important organ in his body. Isak is the most important person in his life.

It’s symbolism.

He tears his eyes away from his reflection in the mirror and turns off the light. Things are different now. Things are different than they were a year ago. What they have is special and Even’s finally found a way to show Isak how truly special it is.

Isak’s pacing around by their bed, as he always does before they’re to go see his mother. His prince curls are loose and unrestrained from a snapback and he’s got on that teal green Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt that brings out his eyes. _You don’t know how lovely you are._

“Finally! Are you ready to go?” Isak doesn’t spot the chain immediately. Although, Even supposes it’s a little unfair to expect him to notice it right away, since the boy is as blind as a bat.

“I’m ready. Are you ready?” He steps closer to Isak, under the overhead light in their living room.

“We can call a Taxi from downstairs," Isak’s voice falters -  _ah ha!_ He’s noticed it.

His eyes narrow in that suspiciously curious gaze of his as he focuses in on the chain. Isak steps closer now. “Is that… is that an ‘i’?”

Even nods silently. _Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine._

A shy smile slowly starts to spread across his lips as Isak reaches his fingers out to trace the charm over Even's heart. “Do you remember? That afternoon, like a year ago, when you were waiting for me outside Kafebrenneriet and you drew a heart and an “i” in the fog of your breath on the window?”

Even nods silently again.

“I think about that a lot.” Isak whispers, even though they’re the only people in the room, in the entire apartment complex for all they know.

“I think about you a lot.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

Even rolls his eyes this time, letting Isak have his faux moment of cockiness. “You got me there.”

Isak’s smile is wide now and he throws his arms around Even’s neck, pulling the older boy to him as tight as he can. Even laughs, despite Isak’s near attempt to the knock all of the air out of him and wraps his arms around his waist. “I hope this means you like it.”

“Of course I do, you idiot.” Isak leans his head back, tilting his chin up.

Even kisses him happily, slow and passionately. It’s Christmas now, what some say is the most wonderful time of the year and he’s with the most wonderful boy in the whole, wide world. There’s no need to rush this, but to savor the moment and keep it in a safe in his heart for when the dark days overcome the good days and he needs a warm memory to keep him steady.

Isak pulls back, love written in the pink blush of his cheeks and the shortness of his breath. “Love you.”

Even brushes his thumb against Isak’s cheek and pecks him one more time for good measure. “Love you, too.”

_It’s perfect, really. Everything is perfect, perfect, perfect._

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever stop referencing cmbyn  
> the answer is no
> 
> hope you liked it!! will do better editing at a later time. if i could film this, think of the flashback december scenes (from last year) in a sort of blue tinted filter (more cold tones) and the new december scenes in a more golden filter/light. sorry about the cheesiness. cannot believe it's been an entire year since ep 8. i remember sobbing so much that weekend - right before my birthday - and thinking there was no way my heart could ever be repaired. and look at us now! 
> 
> i had more i wanted to say about this but i forget
> 
> thank you for reading! x


End file.
